Summer Solstice

I got a decent night of sleep last night.  It's going to be another early night tonight.  I am hoping I have officially reset my circadian rhythm!  I am going to try out that zumba class tomorrow...so long as I don't back down. I'm pretty apprehensive about going to a new gym for the first time.  I take comfort in familiarity.  I need to just force myself to go...it will be fun!  And I need the exercise.

I attempted a Pillsbury Monte Cristo Sandwich recipe but didn't read the recipes when I grabbed a few things from the commissary last week.  It called for two Pillsbury crescent rolls and I only grabbed one.  So my sandwich is a little smaller.  I also didn't get ham because my husband won't eat it.  I make this food but he usually eats breakfast, lunch and dinner on the ship.  When he comes home, he's not hungry.  So I guess I need to start cooking for one.  That raspberry-lemon no-bake cheesecake I made a couple days ago still has two pieces left...I've been trying to eat it, but I just wish my husband would scarf down the rest.

I also hate my oven.  When directions call for 15-20 minutes of baking time, mine cooks in like 8-10 minutes.  The edges of this sandwich on the bottom are slightly burnt.  I checked it a minute before I took it out and it was still a light golden brown.  One minute later and it got pretty dark.  It was good. I really like the raspberry preserves on top.


I obviously haven't been doing well in terms of meal planning.  I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow but still don't have recipes in mind.  I'm getting tired and will probably get to it tomorrow morning.

June 19

I didn't sleep at all last night.  My husband had to wake up at 3am for an early day of work, so I figured I would stay up until he left...then I caught my fourth or fifth wind and somehow managed to stay up until 9:30am.  Napped for only 3 hours so that I would be tired and able to go to bed early again.

When I woke up, I found out from a friend that Sallie Mae has changed their policies on private student loan forbearance.  It used to be up to 2 years and now it's only 12 months.  So in the 10-30 years of repayment one has on their private loans, they only get 12 months of forbearance.  It's ridiculous!  She was told she had three months left of forbearances and now, because of the policy change, she has none left!  I was pretty enraged.  They can just change the terms and not notify borrowers until it's too late.  More borrowers will be forced to default.  Sallie Mae benefits more when people default, so I'm not surprised in their evil policy-changing tactics.  It just pisses me off!

June 18

It's a Pie Day

I watched Forks Over Knives on Netflix last night while trying to relax after stressing out over my difficult homework.  After having difficulty falling asleep, as usual, I watched Burzynski, followed by The Gerson Miracle.  I recommend all three of these videos to everyone.

Being a brain tumor survivor, the way the FDA and the Texas Medical Board were treating Burzynski really pissed me off.  The guy was saving lives and using a treatment that doesn't poison the cancer patients.  What is so wrong with using a better alternative?  Why is the government so resistant to change if they won't profit from it?  I couldn't sleep after Burzynski.  I especially couldn't sleep after spotting this guy crawling around my bedroom door and probably all over the sweaters I had hanging on the knob (I washed them before I wore them again).  Not sure if you can see him on top of the door to the right, but he was huge...over an inch long!  I really hate living here because of these damn roaches (they're so huge!).  I am hoping that we are able to afford to move to a nicer neighborhood that is roach free at the beginning of next year.

After watching all three of these videos, I have come to the conclusion that if I ever get cancer again, eating healthy would be my first attempt at treatment.  I am trying to eat healthy now, but after watching these videos, I realize that I don't need as much meat, egg, and dairy as I am getting each day.  I could eat a lot healthier.  I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead a couple months ago and would love to try a juiced diet to see what kind of effects it would have on me.  Having a juicer would be helpful.  I have a blender, but it's still a pain in the butt.  If I still weren't better from just eating plant-based foods, I would try to seek out Burzynski's treatment.

I didn't do very well with sticking to my meal planning for today.  When I woke up, I was going to make eggs, but didn't feel like it.  I made some oatmeal and followed the directions on the package.  2/3 cup is A LOT!  It spilled over the edge of my bowl in the microwave and I still have a bunch left for breakfast tomorrow.

I didn't make a smoothie.  I have a tendency to skip eating when I'm busy.  I was busy doing laundry all day.  I found out that if I just add minutes to the dryer time, I can save about .50 per load.  In order to do that, I had to wash a load, and while that load was drying, wash another load, and while that load was drying, wash another load...I ended up saving $1.00 today.  It costs $1.25 each to wash/dry.  It's kind of time consuming, having to go back and forth to the laundry building and up and down the stairs.  In between I would either be folding clothes or doing dishes/preparing to make dinner.

When the laundry was done, I began preparing dinner.  I made the cheddary chicken pie.

I swear my oven is messed up.  The recipe called for 35 minutes of baking total.  I had this in for 20-25 minutes and it got pretty dark.  I had forgotten to get a pie pan when I went grocery shopping last week, so when Eric had to go to the NEX to get his hair cut on Friday, I quickly ran into the commissary to grab a tin one.  All they had was an 8 inch cake pan.  The recipe called for a 9 inch pie pan, so this has a bit of extra crust around the edges.  It's still good.  Should I make this again, I need a pie pan and one of those pie servers.  I would use less chicken (I like the veggies better), include potatoes, and have more gravy/creamy filling.  I bet I could use cream of chicken soup with this instead?  Maybe I will experiment sometime.  The cheese is nice in this and I liked it a lot.

While dinner was cooking, I gathered all the ingredients I would need for this no-bake raspberry-lemon cheesecake.  While it cooled, I began preparing it.  If I ever make real cheesecake, I need to get a hand mixer!  My arm will probably be sore tomorrow from mixing up the ingredients!  I didn't want to wait 3 hours for this to cool, so I definitely licked up any remaining batter before I rinsed the bowl out and the spatula off.  It was very yummy!  It's very creamy, not like normal cheesecake, but I guess that's to be expected as it's a no-bake.  It has fresh raspberries in it and I like it.

I drank over 5 cups of water today.  Good for me, as I've been averaging four.  Five is what I should be getting in a day, at minimum.  Since I skipped out on lunch (I did eat half an Atkins bar), I'm pretty short on my calorie intake.  No wonder I was so tired and exhausted all day!  Only 29g of sugar for today...not bad.  Oh crap, I forgot to log that I had added brown sugar and honey to my oatmeal.  I'm sure it's waay over that, lol.

Tomorrow (is today)'s meal planning...leftovers!  Leftover oatmeal for breakfast, leftover cheddary chicken pie for lunch and dinner, leftover cheesecake for a snack/dessert and hopefully I will have energy to throw in a smoothie somewhere!

Meal Planning

Based on my height, weight and age, I should be consuming daily 5 ounces of grains and things from the protein group.  I should be consuming 2 cups of veggies, 1.5 cups of fruit and 3 cups of dairy each day.  I figure once I can do this on a daily basis, I can up the ante to the recommended food pyramid guide.  1 ounce of grains is one serving.  A piece of bread is one ounce, so is 1/2 cup of rice or pasta.  I've been counting 1 cup of pasta as one serving, oops!  3 ounces of meat is about the size of the palm of my hand.  2 tablespoons of peanut butter is one serving of the protein group.  I took all this information and tried to do some meal planning for today.  After a while of trying to figure out where I can add things to get the RDA, I was starving and opted for a quick fix of carnation breakfast essentials...the stuff I'm trying to cut out of my diet.

I figure I really need to start having a real breakfast in the morning.  Not just carnation or just a smoothie.  I need to make eggs or pancakes or french toast; something to get more grains and proteins in.  Smoothies are my best option for getting my fruit intake since I don't eat a lot of fruits.  I snack too much on chocolatey things throughout the day and it would be nice to eventually snack on fruits instead.  I should try making smoothies as a mid-day snack.  Especially if when I start working out, it'd be a good boost to have afterwards.

Here's what I should be striving for when meal planning:

Breakfast:  1 serving proteins, 1 serving grains, 1 serving dairy.
Lunch:  1 serving veggies, 1-2 serving grains, 1 serving protein, 1 serving dairy
Snack (post-workout smoothie):  All the fruit I need in a day, 1 serving dairy, 1-2 servings protein
Dinner:  Remainder of proteins, veggies and grains (should be about 1-2 servings each)

With that in mind, here's what I hope to eat tomorrow:

Breakfast:  2 scrambled eggs with cheese  (I really need a toaster, and some bread...not sure how else to throw grains in here for now)
Lunch:  1/2 to 1 cup of creamy garlic pasta (whatever is leftover from today's leftovers), 1 cup mixed veggies with some grilled chicken.
Snack:  Smoothie, be sure to add 2 tbsp peanut butter (or snack on a handful of nuts)
Dinner:  One piece of cheddary chicken pie (with veggies)
Dessert:  One piece no bake raspberry-lemon cheesecake

I am missing about one serving of grains.  I really do need to get a toaster.  Having some toast with the eggs for breakfast would be nice.  Maybe I can try throwing some oatmeal into my smoothie.  My blender doesn't grind it up very well but I guess I'll let it run for a few minutes before I add any other ingredients.

update:  Ate horribly today.  I spent most of my day finishing up a chapter for an online JavaScript class I'm taking.  I tried to follow along with the book example but it just wouldn't work for me.  I truly want to understand what I'm doing, so I went back and tried it two more times and it still wouldn't work.  So I continued ahead with the homework assignments.  I get two case projects to do; usually have to make a mock website and it ends up taking over 3 hours to do one of the case projects.  Of course the ones my instructor assigns are ones that the book doesn't really cover.  Like in this first one that I'm still stuck on, it requires you to validate a check box (user has to select a check box before they can press the enter site button).  Well, the book says that since the example they use is optional, they skip over the validation code...the code that I need to complete this project!  It was really stressing me out yesterday.  I searched google and finally found one code that works but I spent hours trying to understand why it worked and got no where (the code is more advanced and doesn't reflect what I should know so far in the book).  It's frustrating.  I think I am just going to stop stressing over this homework so much and just find code that works and use it.  Since I'm learning entirely from the book, I will go back when the course is over and try again from the beginning.  JavaScript just hasn't clicked for me yet.

I didn't eat much yesterday, but what I did, was crap.  :/

No Mas Pimiento!

It's 6:30pm and I'm typing this while I'm eating the sauteed chicken with olives, capers and roasted lemon dinner I made.  Yeah, I'm supposed to be fasting right now.  I needed parchment paper for the recipe I cooked and had to wait for Eric to get home from work before I could go to the store.  It was already 5:30pm when I started cooking.  Oh well, I still hope I can go to sleep somewhat earlier this evening, maybe around 8pm.  Anyway, here's my dinner.

It's missing the spinach.  I only have a tiny and medium sauce pan (my one skillet would be used for the chicken) to use for the spinach.  I filled it as full as I could with the baby spinach so that I could still toss it to mix it up.  Holy moley does that stuff reduce once it starts to cook!  By the time it was done, I had about a cup of spinach.  I messed it up by burning the breadcrumbs because I confused the kitchen timer for the time I needed to cook the chicken, when it was meant for the lemons roasting in the oven.  I had to spend time trying to flip the chicken breasts when I caught the time error and left the breadcrumbs to burn on accident.  Need to invest in tongs.  Trying to flip chicken breasts with a cheap, flimsy spatula is too time consuming.  I also added waaay too many breadcrumbs.  So when I mixed the breadcrumbs with the spinach, it was more like having spinach with my breadcrumbs instead of the other way around.  Add to that burnt breadcrumbs...it wasn't good.  I will have to give the spinach another go.

As for the rest of the meal...well, I was supposed to add the chicken stock, capers and olives long before I actually did.  The olives are rather over-powering.  I used slightly more than the recipe suggested.  Maybe if it got to simmer long enough it would have lessened the effect?  Will definitely stick to recommended amount next time!  I also didn't realize the olives were stuffed with pimiento.  Maybe that is what is over-powering?

For lunch I tried another batch of that creamy garlic pasta, only I improvised a bit.  I know the grated parmesan cheese I have is loaded with sodium.  It's the stuff you buy dried that you shake on spaghetti.  I figure I would try just one serving of that (2 tbsp) and make up the rest of the cheese with mozzarella.  Didn't turn out too well.  It turned into a gooey, sticky ball of pasta.  I need to try that recipe again with a block of grated parmesan.

I started logging my food using the food diary on myfitnesspal when I couldn't sleep early this morning (see previous post).  I had a cup of carnation breakfast essentials then and once more for real breakfast this morning (after sleeping).  I'm already way over on sugar, I know.  I will update later with today's totals.

I did work on some homework today, but not much.  I slept until about 8:40am.  When I woke up, I saw the maintenance men heading over to fix the air conditioner.  Yikes!  I had sleep wrinkles on my face and was wearing my bright pink Betty Boop pajamas when I let them in.  My eyes were puffy from just waking up, but I at least had time to comb my bed head.  They had to keep turning the power on/off, so I couldn't use my computer while they worked.

Sometimes, when we turn the AC off from the thermostat, it continues to run and has to be shut off by flipping the breaker switch.  The maintenance men ran into this problem quite a bit today.  The first time, the unit outside even ran for over 5 minutes after they switched the circuit breaker.  What is up with that, I'm not sure...but I'm wondering if that's one of the reasons why the AC likes to randomly stop working.  They fixed the freon gauge and the AC is working again.  Hopefully it lasts the rest of summer!

 

My numbers for today are decent.  Fiber is low, as usual as is sugar very high.  No real fruit, except the juices of the lemons and less than one serving of veggies.  Four servings of fruit.  One serving meat and grains.

Insomniac

I haven't been able to sleep.  It's nearly 3:30am.  I am so tired but I was hungry and it was keeping me awake.  My middle of the night snack was carnation and while I was drinking it, I figured I would start today with logging my food over at myfitnesspal.com.  They only give you the option to track six things, so since I figure my fat and cholesterol are always low since I began logging, I will track calories, carbs, sugar, fiber, protein and sodium.  Myfitnesspal's recommended daily intake of each thing I'll be tracking:

Cups of water: 8 (Based on my petite size, I'm going to stick with aiming for 5)
Calories: 1280  (in the mid-range of what I was logging before)
Carbs: 126g (on the low end of what I had)
Sugar: 26g (I was aiming for less than 40g and that was hard...this will be impossible!)
Fiber: 15g (I was aiming for 20-35g)
Protein: 48g (lower/mid range of what I had)
Sodium:  2500mg!!

I don't know where I was getting my <1,100mg figure from.  I just looked it up again and they say it was once at 2500 but they lowered it to 1500.  Now they say the maximum intake is 2300 but it's not recommended to exceed 1500.  I will shoot for 1500.  Myfitnesspal subtracts the goal amount from your total amount to let you know how many are remaining for you to meet your goal.  I'll just have to consciously try to pick out low sodium things when I go shopping from now on.

I really need to attempt to reset my sleep schedule.  I read a while back that the easiest way to do that is by fasting 12-16 hours before the desired time you want to wake up.  I want to wake up at 6am, so tomorrow (it's really later today, I just say tomorrow because I haven't slept yet), I should stop eating between 2pm and 6pm.  My stomach usually growls and gets very gassy when I don't eat, so we'll see how this goes!

I think it's time to try this sleep thing.  I imagine the maintenance men will be here not long after 8am to fix my AC, so I better try to get what little sleep I can!  Tomorrow's goal:  HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK.  NO PINTEREST!

Crafty

I took Eric to that far away base again today and was able to browse around a couple stores and not buy anything...until I made it to Michael's again.  I went back with a list of things I needed for certain projects I wanted to try.  Mostly projects that include making jewelry to match my bridesmaid dress and my friend's wedding colors.  I am going to attempt to make a ribbon bracelet (may turn it into a necklace), a corded necklace (that is much like the friendship bracelets I used to make when I was a kid), and this cute bowtie necklace.  I also picked up a $2 clearance box that I can use for photo storage (or something else).  I was disappointed when I came home and found these upcycled cardboard boxes on Pinterest.  Oh well, $2.  Will  have to remember to upcycle boxes like that in the future!

So here's what I've bought from Michael's this week.  I have got so many more creative ideas pinned on pinterest, but this stuff should last me a while!  I bought the 4 tshirts (the royal blue one is missing...can you tell my favorite color is blue?).  I plan on doing some tutorials I found to gather fabric at the neckline and at the sides to make these large tshirts fitted and more my style.  I am also going to learn how to knit, with the ultimate goal of being able to knit several things: scarf, blanket, sweater, slippers, long fingerless gloves, and a winter hat.  Gotta get working on those bracelets and necklace sooner than later.  I also bought one bottle of airbrush paint.

About two years ago, my father bought me an airbrush because the one I had used while in high school no longer worked, and because he wanted me to be able to make money at street fairs and festivals in Wisconsin by doing these types of airbrushing, lol!  I never got the new one to work properly, couldn't even get water to run through it.  Hopefully the hubby can help me get it working, because I am inspired again to create all sorts of art.

I know I didn't do too well with meals today.  It was mostly grab and go...pinterest, again.  I also had to clean up the living and dining areas because the AC is broken again.  Can't have maintenance see the state the living area was in...that is, hubby came home from work and dumped his bag out on the floor.  Clothes, papers and miscellaneous stuff he had in his locker on the ship, all over the floor.  It had also been a while since I dusted and swept.  I would love to do a good thorough cleaning job on the whole apartment and then stick to a daily cleaning schedule...I just have to get caught up on the homework before I can do that, or before I can start any of these craft projects!

Daily Consumption

Servings of grains:  1
Servings of meats:  2
Servings of dairy:  3
Servings of fruit:  <1
Servings of vegetables: 2-3

(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Cups of Water (5 cups) :   4
Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):   1125
Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):  33g  about 2.9% of TCI
Total Carbohydrates (125-230g):  187.5g
Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  92.5g
Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  18g
Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  49mg
Total Protein (44-60g):  53.5g
Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  2313mg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breakfast:  Ensure - 350 calories, 11g fat, 10mg cholesterol, 230mg sodium, 49g carbohydrates, 1g dietary fiber, 18g sugar, 13g protein
Snack:  1/2 cup beans - 170 calories, .5g fat, 480mg sodium, 35g carbohydrates, 6g fiber, 15g sugar, 7g protein
Lunch:  2 cups of spinach salad (cheese, croutons, blackberries, bacon bits) - 163.5 calories, 15.5g fat, 24.5mg carbohydrates, 10.5g sugar, 5g dietary fiber, 35mg cholesterol, 13.5g protein, 828mg sodium
Snack:  Three petite sweet pickles - 20 calories, 5mg carbohydrates, 4g sugar, 85mg sodium
Dinner:   1/2 cup beans - 170 calories, .5g fat, 480mg sodium, 35g carbohydrates, 6g fiber, 15g sugar, 7g protein
Snack:  Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 5.5g fat, 39mg carbohydrates, 30g sugar, 4mg cholesterol, 13g protein, 210mg sodium

Too Thymey

A couple days ago, I had joined the Atkins community to get some healthy recipes and got a free quick start kit for joining.  It came in the mail today.  I tried out the caramel nut chew bar...it's exactly like a snickers!  I want more!  It only has 1g of sugar!  I  noticed that I really need to cut back on my sugar intake.  My usual carnation breakfast has 30g of sugar...that's 75% of my daily intake right there!  Sadly, I should really try to cut carnation out of my diet completely.  That's hard for me, as I've been drinking the stuff for over 5 years almost every day for breakfast.  I also need to not buy those fruit flavored yogurts for smoothies...too much sugar, 26g sugar...over half my daily intake right there!

I recently signed up for the MyFitnessPal website.  It has a food diary that I am hoping I can utilize and it will make calculating all this nutritional information a little bit easier.  It also has an exercise calculator, which I am hoping will help me get my butt moving because I need the exercise.  I especially need to build muscle.  I am no where near as in shape as I was a couple years ago.  I want to get in on that zumba class that is on Thursdays but I guess it will have to wait another week.  I am going to drive the hubby to work again tomorrow as he has to go to that base that is far away.  It's nice to get out of the house and I have a few more crafty things I want to shop for at Michael's.

I am pretty disappointed with how I spent most of my day today.  I did change the catbox, take out the garbage, unload/load the dishwasher, and make dinner, but aside from those few things, I've pretty much been on the computer all day.  I've been spending a  lot of my time these past few months promoting and helping members in the ForgiveStudentLoanDebt.com group on FB.  A petition that was started just 3 months ago in support of H.R.4170 - Student Loan Forgiveness Act of 2012 surpassed one million signatures late last night.  There was an influx of new members asking to join the group so I spent a lot of time this morning adding members, bumping important posts and answering questions.  The rest of my day was spent calculating past days' nutritional intake, but mostly on Pinterest and a random tutorial generator.  I should have been catching up on homework for my online javascript class.  I fell behind on the weekly homework assignments while I had my gallbladder removed a month ago.  I get two problems, usually having to create some sort of mock website for each.  It ends up taking me anywhere from 4-10 hours to complete.  I've been working on last week's homework but I still need to finish this week's homework by Sunday or I'll still be a week behind.  I really need to devote one entire day to just doing homework to catch up.  Could have happened today, but it didn't, sadly.  Won't happen tomorrow, but hopefully I can force myself to at least do a few hours when I get back from my day-long adventure out in Virginia Beach.   Really need to get my butt in gear though!  There is so much I want to do and need to get done, but I waste so much time online!  Damn you Pinterest!

For dinner, I attempted this oven crisp chicken recipe.  Mine didn't turn out so well.  I used a ranch vinaigrette dressing that I had at home already and the cracker crumbs just didn't stick to the chicken very well.  Most of the crumbs fell off while it was in the oven.  Also, I checked the chicken after 25 minutes and the tips were starting to burn.  I stuck my meat thermometer in one of the breasts and it only reached 130 degrees.  I put the chicken back in for 5 minutes and checked the temperature again and it was the same.  Maybe I need a new meat thermometer, but isn't chicken supposed to get up to 165 or so?  I cut one of them open and it looked thoroughly cooked.  It wasn't too bad, but it was too thymey, I accidentally spilled a bit extra in the cracker crumbs.  It was edible though.  May try it again with real ranch dressing and different crackers.

Daily Consumption

Servings of grains:  1-2
Servings of meats:  2
Servings of dairy:  1
Servings of fruit:  2
Servings of vegetables:  1

(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Cups of Water (5 cups) :   4
Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):   1003
Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):  30g  about 3% of daily caloric intake
Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  80g
Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  14.5g
Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  92mg
Total Protein (44-60g):  48.5g
Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  1369.5mg
Total Carbohydrates (125-230g):  155g 


Breakfast: Banana, berry smoothie - 333 calories, 2g fat, 74g carbohydrates, 9g fiber, 49g sugar, 10mg cholesterol, 7.5g protein, 87mg sodium
Lunch: Spinach salad - 80 calories, 6g fat, 11g carbohydrates, 4g sugar, 2g dietary fiber, 15mg cholesterol, 5g protein, 410mg sodium
Snack: Atkins Caramel Nut Chew Bar - 130 calories, 8g fat, 4.5mg cholesterol, 70mg sodium, 17g carbohydrates, 6g dietary fiber, 1g sugar, 5g protein
Dinner: Chicken breast, beans - 365 calories, 7.5g fat, 41.5g carbohydrates, 17.5g sugar, 6g fiber, 60mg cholesterol, 29.5g protein, 795mg sodium
Snack: 2 pieces orange chocolate - 95 Calories, 6.5g Fat, 2.5mg Cholesterol, 7.5mg Sodium, 11.5g Carbohydrates, <1g dietary fiber, 8.5g Sugar, 1.5g protein

June 11th, 2012

Daily Consumption

Servings of grains:  2
Servings of meats:  <1
Servings of dairy:  4
Servings of fruit:  <1
Servings of vegetables:  2

(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Cups of Water (5 cups) :  4
Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):  832  very low!
Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):  44g  about 5.3% of total caloric intake
Total Carbohydrates (125-175mg):  103mg  a bit low
Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  56.5  a little high
Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  6.5g   LOW!
Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  102mg
Total Protein (44-60g):  33.5g
Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  1896mg!!!

Breakfast: Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 5.5g fat, 39mg carbohydrates, 30g sugar, 4mg cholesterol, 13g protein, 210mg sodium
Lunch: 1 cup creamy garlic pasta - 258.5 calories, 15g fat, 20.5mg carbohydrates, .5g dietary fiber, 2g sugar, 43mg cholesterol, 4g protein, 823mg sodium
Dinner: 2 cups of spinach salad (cheese, croutons, blackberries, bacon bits) - 163.5 calories, 15.5g fat, 24.5mg carbohydrates, 10.5g sugar, 5g dietary fiber, 35mg cholesterol, 13.5g protein, 828mg sodium
Snack: 1/2 c. rocky road ice cream - 160 calories, 8g fat, 20mg cholesterol, 35mg sodium, 19mg carbohydrates, 1g dietary fiber, 14g sugar, 3g protein

June 12th, 2012


So I noticed today while making calculations that sometimes I mark carbohydrates in grams and other times I record it in milligrams.  So my previous entries have probably been a bit off in the carbs department.  I also found a calculator and based on my age and height, I should be getting 130-230g of carbohydrates, not 125-175mg as I had previously recorded in all of my posts.

I drove my husband to a base about 40 minutes away today for additional training.  He didn't want to drive and I needed to get out of the house.  I had a yummy, but very unhealthy, breakfast at Panera.  I only splurge and get a four cheese souffle once in a while.  Those things are sooo good!  I got my hair trimmed and spent an hour and a half in Michael's.  I've been pinning a lot of craft ideas on Pinterest lately.  I picked up some knitting supplies, figure I should learn how to knit!  They had tshirts on sale 2/$5 so I bought four of them.  They are large, but I want to try doing this to them.  I would have done more shopping, but my husband called to say he was done.  When I got back to base, he wasn't.  I waited in the car for an hour and a half before he was really done.  Luckily it wasn't hot out.

Daily Consumption

Servings of grains:  3
Servings of meats:  3
Servings of dairy:  3-4
Servings of fruit:  <1
Servings of vegetables:  0

(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Cups of Water (5 cups) :   4
Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):  1040
Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):  46.5  4.5% of daily caloric intake
Total Carbohydrates (125-230g):  121g
Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  69g
Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  3g
Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  195mg
Total Protein (44-60g):  41g
Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  1417mg


Breakfast: Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 5.5g fat, 39mg carbohydrates, 30g sugar, 4mg cholesterol, 13g protein, 210mg sodium
Lunch: Panera four cheese souffle - 470 calories, 30g fat, 150mg cholesterol, 700mg sodium, 35g carbohydrates, 2g dietary fiber, 8g sugar, 16g protein
Dinner: 2 pieces raspberry/bbq chicken pizza - 160 calories, 3g fat, 28g carbohydrates, 17g sugar, 21mg cholesterol, 9g protein, 472mg sodium
Snack: 1/2 c. rocky road ice cream - 160 calories, 8g fat, 20mg cholesterol, 35mg sodium, 19mg carbohydrates, 1g dietary fiber, 14g sugar, 3g protein

Catching Up

I took a sleeping pill last night.  I had gone too many nights in a row with very little sleep.  No way was I going to let another night of sleep evade me.  My eyes were burning all day yesterday.  I got about 10 hours of sleep, but I still feel really tired.  I may have to nap for a bit later.  Went grocery shopping last night for the following meals.  I wanted to try a tilapia recipe because I am not much of a fish eater and I know my husband likes it.  Sadly, they did not have any tilapia and I didn't want to pick something else out without knowing/having the ingredients.  Spent about $135 after $17+ savings.  Husband grabbed a lot of his Monster drinks, Powerade, and the cans of beans he can't go without.

I am going to try making this creamy garlic pasta recipe after I finish with this post.  Hubby is on duty this evening so he won't be home tonight.  I figure I will cut the recipe in half and it should be more than enough to feed just me.  The potatoes are probably starting to go bad from last week.  I should probably make some mashed potatoes tonight or tomorrow.

I should make the oven crisp chicken recipe on Monday to go with the mashed potatoes I make tonight (they might not get made until Monday).  Will probably have a can of beans with that as well.  That's something I know my husband will eat!

Tuesday I want to try a not-so-spicy variant of this raspberry-chipotle barbecue chicken pizza.  I know this will go quickly.  When we get a pizza from Papa Johns, I usually eat about two pieces and my husband gets the rest.  Wednesday I will try the sauteed chicken with olives, capers and roasted lemons.  Not sure how much of this hubby will actually eat, so I might have leftovers to last a day or two.  I should finish off the spinach with salads before the spinach goes bad.  Then make this cheddary chicken pie  Friday or Sunday.  Eric has duty on Saturday, so I could probably make another round of the creamy garlic pasta if I run out of spinach for salads then.

Update:  I made the creamy garlic pasta mentioned above.  It is yummy!  I suck at mincing garlic, but I'm sure that is something I will just get better at the more I practice.  I'm so glad this turned out.  I cut the recipe in half and I'm eating about half of that now and the rest will be for later tonight or for lunch tomorrow.

Daily Consumption

Servings of grains:  2
Servings of meats:  0
Servings of dairy:  4, a bit high
Servings of fruit:  2
Servings of vegetables:  2

(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Cups of Water (5 cups) :  5
Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):  1021
Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):  46g   4.5% of total caloric intake
Total Carbohydrates (125-175mg):  135mg
Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  81g 
Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  10.5g
Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  113.5
Total Protein (44-60g):  18g   Ultra low!
Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  Before I even calculate this, I know it will be astronomically high from recording the nutritional value of all the ingredients used in making that yummy creamy garlic pasta.  Sadly, the parmesan cheese I used has A LOT of sodium in it!  Must experiment with a reduced-sodium version of this because that pasta is YUMMY!  Drum roll please...1706.5mg sodium!

Breakfast:  1 cup banana, apple, spinach smoothie (with a small amount of black currant) - 209 calories, 53.5mg carbohydrates, 32.5g sugar, 9g dietary fiber, 2.5g protein, 49mg sodium
Lunch:  1 cup creamy garlic pasta - 258.5 calories, 15g fat, 20.5g carbohydrates, .5g dietary fiber, 2g sugar, 43mg cholesterol, 4g protein, 823mg sodium
Snack:   2 pieces of orange chocolate - 95 Calories, 6.5g Fat, 2.5mg Cholesterol, 7.5mg Sodium, 11.5g Carbohydrates, <1g dietary fiber, 8.5g Sugar, 1.5g protein
Dinner:  1 cup creamy garlic pasta - 258.5 calories, 15g fat, 20.5g carbohydrates, .5g dietary fiber, 2g sugar, 43mg cholesterol, 4g protein, 823mg sodium
Snack:  Raspberry fudge chunk greek frozen yogurt - 200 calories, 7g fat, 29g carbohydrates, 36g sugars, 25mg cholesterol, 6g protein

June 9th
I couldn't sleep at all last night.  I tried for two hours then just got up and was doing homework for about 6 hours straight!  I had some oatmeal just before going to sleep at 9am.  I woke up two hours later when my husband finally rolled out of bed, went to the bathroom and felt like I was starving.   I slept on and off for another 3 hours before getting up.  We went and saw Prometheus. It was ok.  Went grocery shopping afterwards for ingredients for the meals above.

Daily Consumption

Servings of dairy:  2-3
Servings of fruit:  0
Servings of meats:  Less than 1
Servings of vegetables:  1
Servings of grains:  3

(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Cups of Water (5 cups) : 5

Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):  1489  (Ate pretty crappily)

Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):   41g   2.7% of total calorie intake

Total Carbohydrates (125-175mg):  205.5g

Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  133g    Sugar overload!!

Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  11.5g  low!

Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  32.5mg

Total Protein (44-60g):  58g

Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  1046mg  Surprisingly under for eating so horribly!

Breakfast:  Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 5.5g fat, 39mg carbohydrates, 30g sugar, 4mg cholesterol, 13g protein, 210mg sodium

Lunch:  Oat bran with honey and brown sugar - 240 calories, 2g fat, 52mg carbohydrates, 24g sugar, 7g dietary fiber, 7g protein
Snack:  Dark Chocolate Ensure - 350 calories, 11g fat, 49mg carbohydrates, 1g dietary fiber, 18g sugar, 10mg cholesterol, 13g protein, 230mg sodium

Dinner:  Half bagel pizzas (pizza sauce, cheese on flat bagel) - 110 calories, 4g fat, 13.5mg carbohydrates, 4g sugars, 3g dietary fiber, 10mg cholesterol, 7g protein, 315mg sodium

Snack:  Less than half Monster Rehab - 5 calories, 15mg sodium, 2mg carbohydrates, 1g sugar
A few pieces of popcorn, chocolates, sips of Cherry Coke - 284 calories, 13g fat, 11mg carbohydrates, .5g dietary fiber, 26g sugar, 4.5mg cholesterol, 5g protein, 66mg sodium
Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 5.5g fat, 39mg carbohydrates, 30g sugar, 4mg cholesterol, 13g protein, 210mg sodium

June 8th

Daily Consumption

Servings of meats/eggs/nuts:  2
Servings of dairy:  5, a bit much
Servings of fruit:  0
Servings of vegetables:  1-2
Servings of grains:  2

(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Cups of Water (5 cups) : 4

Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):  1261.5

Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):   59g   4.67% of total calorie intake

Total Carbohydrates (125-175mg):  132g

Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  93.5g   

Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  8g  low!

Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  502.5mg   high today!

Total Protein (44-60g):  64.5g   Not sure going over is bad?

Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  2232mg  HOLY CRAP, that's way over!!

Breakfast:  2 scrambled eggs, 1/4c. cheese, 2tbsp. ketchup - 270 calories, 18g fat, 8.5g carbohydrates, 4g sugar, 400mg cholesterol, 19g  protein, 690mg sodium

Lunch:  Bagel pizzas (pizza sauce, cheese on flat bagel) - 220 calories, 8g fat, 27mg carbohydrates, 8g sugars, 6g dietary fiber, 20mg cholesterol, 14g protein, 630mg sodium
Snack:  Raspberry fudge chunk greek frozen yogurt - 200 calories, 7g fat, 29g carbohydrates, 36g sugars, 25mg cholesterol, 6g protein

Dinner:  1 cup kale salad with croutons, cheese and raspberry vinaigrette - 226.5 calories, 13.5g fat, 19mg carbohydrates, 6g sugar, .5g dietary fiber, 30mg cholesterol, 9g protein, 574.5mg sodium

Snack:  Offbrand Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 6g fat, 37mg carbohydrates, 31g sugar, 1g fiber, 25mg cholesterol, 15g protein, 330mg sodium
2 pieces of orange chocolate - 95 Calories, 6.5g Fat, 2.5mg Cholesterol, 7.5mg Sodium, 11.5g Carbohydrates, <1g dietary fiber, 8.5g Sugar, 1.5g protein

My Aha! Moment

I began watching the first chapter of Weight of the Nation this morning while drinking my breakfast smoothie.  This is the train of thought to my aha moment.


In the beginning of the chapter, it mentioned genetics and the link it has to being overweight.  My immediate family is mostly skinny, aside from my dad's beer belly.  I wouldn't say my family ever ate very healthy, but we generally can eat whatever we want and not gain much weight.  Then I thought about how I had gained about 30 lbs when I was ten while undergoing chemotherapy.  Was it from chemo or was it from being on TPN and lipids?  I was on it for more than 6 months while I was in the hospital because I couldn't keep food down and really only drank water.  I continued TPN at home for several more months with decremented dosages until I was completely weaned off and eating food again.

Then I wondered, what does TPN stand for?  I knew the T was total and the N had to be nutrition.  TPN is Total Parenteral Nutrition.  From what else I saw on the first page I opened in my search, begins my aha! moment.

When I was a sophomore in high school I found out I had a lot of gallstones and that I would have to have my gallbladder removed one day.  The doctor told me to watch my cholesterol.  I never really did, but I did quit drinking Dr.Pepper (and soda altogether) every day, as I guessed that was what was contributing to my gallstones at such a young age.  I began having occasional stomach pains and problems in 2007.  By 2011 it had been a daily occurrence for two years.  My doctors told me I needed to go to the ER when it was hurting so they could catch my gallbladder being inflamed.  It usually happened in the middle of the night and I wasn't going to drive myself, or wake my husband up because he had to be to work at 5:30am. I certainly wasn't going to call an ambulance.  The pain I was in, which I knew would be gone in the morning, far outweighed the idea of what an emergency room visit would cost.

Earlier this year, after discussing my pains with my GYN,  I was referred to a general surgeon, bypassing the gastroenterologists that wouldn't believe it was my gallbladder until they could see it.  The nurse and the surgeon had no doubts it was my gallbladder and before I left, I was scheduled for surgery a couple weeks later!  To think that if someone would have believed me earlier, I wouldn't have had to suffer nearly every day for over 2 years!  When I was being prepped for surgery, the nurse, the anesthesiologist, and all the other people they make you meet before your surgery, were surprised that little 4'9", 95lbs me would have so many gallstones.  I had always attributed it to eating poorly, even though I eat like a bird.  The page I opened to find what TPN stood for mentioned that TPN can cause gallbladder complications.

AHA!

After doing another search, I find Livestrong results that say not only does TPN contribute to gallstone formation, but so do estrogren-containing medications.  Like the birth control pills I've been on since high school due to estrogen deficiencies.  So I can legitimately blame TPN and birth control (and possible other unknown medications I was given while undergoing cancer treatment) to my excessive gallstones and my ultimate cholecystectomy.  Who knew?  I certainly hope my Oncologist never knew because she failed to mention that in any of my long term follow up reports.  I probably could have had this fixed a long time ago had mentioned being on TPN and lipids for close to a year?  Oh well, now I know!

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to me!  I turn 27 today and I also celebrate 17 years of being cancer free!  I usually don't do much to celebrate my birthday.  I took a nap and spent too much time on the computer and on Pinterest today.  Go me!  I didn't really cook anything or even attempt to eat very healthy.  It was a day of relaxation and catching up on sleep.

Servings of meats:  Less than 1
Servings of dairy:  2-3
Servings of fruit:  0
Servings of vegetables:  1
Servings of grains:  3


(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Daily Consumption

Cups of Water (5 cups) : 5

Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):  1080

Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):   31.5g   2.9% of total calorie intake

Total Carbohydrates (125-175mg):  151g

Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  91g   

Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  8.5g  low!

Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  78mg

Total Protein (44-60g):  54g

Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  1710mg  Yikes!

. . .

Breakfast:  Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 5.5g fat, 39mg carbohydrates, 30g sugar, 4mg cholesterol, 13g protein, 210mg sodium

Lunch:  1 biscuit with chicken and veggies in creamy chicken sauce - 190 calories, 5g fat, 22mg carbohydrates, 6g sugar, 1g dietary fiber, 25mg cholesterol, 11g protein, 330mg sodium
Snack:  Six petite sweet pickles - 40 calories, 10mg carbohydrates, 8g sugar, 170mg sodium

Dinner:  Bagel pizzas (pizza sauce, cheese on flat bagel) - 220 calories, 8g fat, 27mg carbohydrates, 8g sugars, 6g dietary fiber, 20mg cholesterol, 14g protein, 630mg sodium

Snack:  2 Raspberry Milano Cookies -  130 calories, 7g fat, 4mg cholesterol, 40mg sodium, 16mg carbohydrates, .5g dietary fiber, 8g sugar, 1g protein
Offbrand Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 6g fat, 37mg carbohydrates, 31g sugar, 1g fiber, 25mg cholesterol, 15g protein, 330mg sodium

June 6th

I made a pretty disgusting smoothie for breakfast.  I managed to down about a cup of it before I couldn't stand it anymore.  I saw recipes online for oatmeal smoothies, so I decided to try some oat bran in one.  I also added a banana, an orange, yogurt, kale, and some milk.  It was chewy and I got a lot of kale stuck in my teeth.  Not sure if I just didn't let the blender run long enough, or if I should have tried to grind up the oatmeal and kale before adding other ingredients, or maybe those things are better left for a juicer or food processor? 

Servings of meats:  About 1
Servings of dairy:  About 2
Servings of fruit:  1
Servings of vegetables:  About 1
Servings of grains: 4


(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Daily Consumption

Cups of Water (5 cups) :   6

Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):  1399

Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):   35.5g  2.5% of total calorie intake

Total Carbohydrates (125-175mg):  194.5mg   A little high

Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  88g   High again today!

Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  16g  Low, but getting better.

Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  75mg

Total Protein (44-60g):  57.5g 

Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  1706.5 Too high!

. . .

Breakfast:  1 cup disgusting smoothie (oat bran, banana, orange, kale, yogurt, milk) - 299 calories, 3.5g fat, 56.5g carbohydrates, 6g dietary fiber, 29g sugar, 96.5mg sodium, 9.5g protein

Lunch:  1 biscuit with chicken and veggies in creamy chicken sauce - 190 calories, 5g fat, 22g carbohydrates, 6g sugar, 1g dietary fiber, 25mg cholesterol, 11g protein, 330mg sodium
Snack:  Six petite sweet pickles - 40 calories, 10g carbohydrates, 8g sugar, 170mg sodium

Dinner:  2 biscuits with chicken and veggies in creamy chicken sauce - 380 calories, 10g fat, 44g carbohydrates, 12g sugar, 2g dietary fiber, 50mg cholesterol, 22g protein, 660mg sodium

Snack:  Fat free chocolate pudding - 90 calories, 140mg sodium, 20 carbohydrates, 15g sugar, 2g protein
Late Snack:  Peanut butter and raspberry jelly on bagel thin - 400 calories, 17g fat, 42g carbohydrates, 7g dietary fiber, 18g sugar, 13g protein, 310mg sodium

Dinner is Served!

For dinner this evening I wanted to make a meal similar to the Banquet Homestyle Bakes Creamy Chicken 7 Biscuits meal in a box.  I mostly followed this recipe for Easy Chicken Pot Pie.  I didn't use an egg and I added a chopped up yukon potato.  I also tried poaching chicken breasts for the first time today and they turned out very well.  Dinner took more than 2 hours to make.  I'm not sure exactly how it took that long, but I need to learn to prep in a more time-manageable way.  I learned that one should chop up potatoes before they boil them.  I also learned that if I make this recipe in the future, I should use my smaller than 9x11 baking dish or double up on the veggies and cream of chicken soup.  Also, I should find the low sodium soup.


The finished product looks very similar to a finished Homestyle Bakes.  It tasted like it too, just a little less creamy.


I wish I could compare the price of this recipe vs. the box dinner.  It usually goes for about $3.79 at Kroger.  I didn't save my last receipt to even attempt to price the cost of this meal.


I will compare nutritional value.  When I do my calculations, I record the values of each ingredient and add them together.  I wonder how off my calculations are due to items being cooked and losing nutritional value?

Serving Size 2/3 cup filling; 1/3 biscuit mix (212g)
Amount Per Serving
Calories from Fat 160 Calories 350
% Daily Values*
Total Fat 18g		28%
	Saturated Fat 4g	20%
	Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 15mg		5%
Sodium 1050mg		44%
Total Carbohydrate 39g		13%
	Dietary Fiber 6g	24%
	Sugars 4g
Protein 11g

The nutritional value of my meal:  Serving size 1.5 biscuits with chicken and veggies in creamy chicken sauce - 380 calories, 10g fat, 44g carbohydrates, 12g sugar, 2g dietary fiber, 50mg cholesterol, 22g protein, 660mg sodium


I'm not certain how my serving sizes measure up with the box.  But the calories and carbohydrates are very close.  Mine is better in the fat, protein and sodium department.  Holy 1050mg of sodium in one serving of the box!  The recipe I went with has 3x as much sugar and more than 3x as much cholesterol!


I guess I made some poor food choices today.  I am not even sure the amount of veggies I had on my plate would constitute one serving.  Paired with the tomato sauce I had with my bagel pizzas for lunch, I will count it as one.  No servings of fruit yet today.  I still have time for a snack before bed, so maybe I'll squeeze one in.


Servings of meats:  Maybe one?  Probably less than one.
Servings of dairy:  4
Servings of fruit:  0
Servings of vegetables:  1
Servings of grains:  2


(Red = Bad, Need to Improve!  Pink/purple = OK, Room for Improvement  Green = Good!)

Daily Consumption

Cups of Water (5 cups) :   4

Total Calorie Intake (1000-1500):  1050

Total Fat Intake (<30% of TCI):   30.5g  2.9% of total calorie intake

Total Carbohydrates (125-175mg):  139mg   Surprisingly on track!

Total Carbs from Sugars (<40g):  86g   High again today!

Total Carbs from Dietary Fiber (20-35g):  8g  Low!!!

Total Cholesterol (<300mg):  99mg

Total Protein (44-60g):  55g 

Total Sodium (<1,100mg):  1500  High!

. . .

Breakfast:  Carnation with a cup of 2% milk - 250 calories, 5.5g fat, 39g carbohydrates, 30g sugar, 4mg cholesterol, 13g protein, 210mg sodium

Lunch:  Bagel pizzas (pizza sauce, cheese on flat bagel) - 220 calories, 8g fat, 27g carbohydrates, 8g sugars, 6g dietary fiber, 20mg cholesterol, 14g protein, 630mg sodium
Snack:  Raspberry fudge chunk greek frozen yogurt - 200 calories, 7g fat, 29g carbohydrates, 36g sugars, 25mg cholesterol, 6g protein

Dinner:  2 biscuits with chicken and veggies in creamy chicken sauce - 380 calories, 10g fat, 44g carbohydrates, 12g sugar, 2g dietary fiber, 50mg cholesterol, 22g protein, 660mg sodium

Snack:

I guess I didn't feel like snacking today?

Face Lift

I originally created this blog to track my goals in creating a healthier lifestyle.  After further contemplation, influenced by comments from friends and family, from reading articles, and signing up for free samples and coupons through various sites, I've decided to expand on this blog.  I will now be posting about other goals and aspirations, events that happen throughout the day, and reviews of sample products, as well as continuing with my goals of living a healthier, happier lifestyle.  Basically, I'll be blogging about anything and everything that comes to mind.

Sunday, June 3rd, was National Cancer Survivor's Day.  I am a survivor of 17 years.  I usually celebrate on my birthday, which is in two days, so I figured I would expand on the celebration and make it a week-long event.  I'm not really doing a whole lot of celebrating, but I have a heightened state of awareness about overcoming enormous odds and it gives me new motivation and appreciation for things in life.  Why this doesn't stick with me throughout the year, I'm unsure.  That is something I should work to improve upon.

For those of you who don't know, here's a little back story.  Okay, maybe it will be a lot back story.  When I was 9 years old, I was diagnosed with childhood migraines after being sent home often from school for having headaches.  At gymnastics class a few months later I felt like there was something in my right eye.  No one could see anything and flushing it out did not help.  Weeks later my eye started getting lazy and was turning grey, as if there was a haze over it.  A couple weeks after that I contracted impetigo on my right nostril.  Finally, a few weeks later I had a CAT scan and doctors found a tumor in my head.  I was sent off to Children's Hospital of Wisconsin to undergo emergency surgery the next day to remove half the tumor that was pressing up against my optic nerve.  I was told I had six months to live and underwent radiation therapy followed by intense chemotherapy (no breaks in between treatments).  I lived in the hospital for those six months.  My right eye was sewn shut for protection.  The impetigo got worse and actually ate away part of my nostril.  My heart stopped beating several times and waking up in the emergency room hooked up to a catheter is the worst feeling ever.  Thanks to pain meds, I do not remember a whole lot from those six months.  I do remember being quite the sassy kid, often yelling at nurses who wore too much perfume or woke me up.  I think without this fight in me (the sisu in me), I wouldn't have lasted beyond those six months.  But I survived and was going home cancer-free at the end of six months.  It took a while to fully recover.  I was mostly bedridden the whole time and had to get used to walking again.  I was also fed through an IV and it took several months of carrying around a backpack of IV food before I was finally weaned back on to eating regularly.  I had to adjust to the after-effects of all the treatment.  My hair never fully grew back, it's very thin and sparse.  I have daily headaches that I've learned to ignore.  I am hard of hearing and have constant ringing in my ears.  I also have excessive wax buildup that needs to be removed by seeing an ENT specialist every 3-6 months.  I have no sensation on the right side of my face, including in my eye.  Vision in that eye is also impaired but not correctable with glasses.  My eyelashes frequently grow into my eye and since I have no feeling, I often have to have them plucked by an ophthalmologist.  The right side of my nose runs constantly.  I lost most of the teeth on the right side of my head due to decay from the radiation and frequent vomiting.  Radiation also turned my jaw muscles into scar tissue so I have limited jaw mobility.  It makes the teeth I currently have at a higher risk for decay.  It also makes eating difficult.  Everything has to be broken down into small pieces.  I had jaw surgery to attempt to improve my mobility, it helped a few millimeters but it also left my lower jaw further set back and now I have a massive gap in between my front top and bottom teeth.  I cannot bite into food like apples.  I haven't grown since I was 9 and never reached puberty naturally.  I have thyroid, estrogen, and growth hormone deficiencies.  I take thyroid and estrogen medication and the estrogen has developed/matured my body a little.  I tried growth hormone but couldn't deal with having to give myself a shot every day for the rest of my life and just accepted that I would be 4'9" forever.  I have raynaud's phenomenon, which leaves my hands and sometimes my feet ice cold (the smallest breeze can set it off), where the tips change colors.  I knew since I was 16 that I had many gallstones and recently had my gallbladder removed.  I'm not sure if this is something related to my cancer experience.  I also believe I have IBS, but am again unsure if this is related to my cancer experience.  Anyhow, I'm still alive and that's my story.

I never liked the original name of the blog and wanted something short and sweet.  I tried a random word generator and wasn't really getting anywhere.  My great aunt had recently mentioned that it was the sisu in me that pulled me through my cancer ordeal.  The word has been sticking with me the past few days.  I've heard it used before by my aunts and other Finnish relatives, but it wasn't until recently that the meaning of the word really struck a chord.  I have the basic definition of sisu just below the title of my blog.  It is basically the essence of strength, will and determination to pull through when facing adversity.  Sisu by itself wasn't enough.  'Sisu Life' came to mind first, but it doesn't sound right.  I began to think of other words synonymous to life and came up with 'Sisu Vitality,' which sounds good to me!